Cure: Get into a horrible accident and suffer major head trauma. You should forget quite a bit by then.

Symptoms: Consistently stealing other people's sweetrolls, preferably ones owned by guards.

Cure: Go to jail and get whipped with your intestines 8 days a week.

Symptoms: Almost becoming a good person.

(COMIC SANS)

Cure: Get eaten alive by an Oblivion Execution Dragon.

Symptoms: Can't stop feeling like I have dragon parts.

Cure: Swap bodies with a dragon.

Symptoms: Getting hunted by the Dovahkiin.

Cure: Toggle God Mode and destroy him.

Symptoms: Stuck in a corrupted Apocrypha. Miiraak is ranting about something in Belethor's voice.

Cure: Decapitate miraak

Symptoms: always farting silently and it smells really bad

Cure: Eat candy

Symptoms: sets big piles of wood on fire

Cure: Come almost to the point of drowning on Neptune's North Pole. Almost.

Symptoms: Able to see vivid pictures of things I can indeed explain. I don't want that.

Cure: Use mind bleach to purge the terrifing thoughts from your brain. Or, embrace the insanity. I've found that both methods work effectively.

Symptoms: Being the last human being on the planet.

Cure: BURN, BABY, BURN!

Symptoms: Can't stop making "Supernatural" references

Cure: Cancel your Netflix subscription.

Symptoms: Drawing pentagrams everywhere. I have no intent of protection; I just do it.

Cure: Draw smiley faces in each pentagram to make it look friendlier.

Symptoms: Blood turning purple, can't articulate the letter "q," one tooth is growing too long.

Cure: Go to Wonderland so you'll fit in.

Symptoms: Excessive violent shrieking inside my head. Followed by getting random papercuts.