Cure: Always carry around a loud boombox playing "Stairway to Heaven" on repeat to counteract the problem.

Symptoms: You have the ability to shapeshift, but you have absolutely no control over it and it only happens at extremely awkward times.

Cure: Use a Staff of Frost to counteract the burns.

Symptoms: Everything has frostbite now.

Cure: Swallow a soul gem

Symptoms: Can smell stuff no-one else can

Cure: Snort as many substances as possible without regard for personal safety. I especially recommend Moon Sugar laced with Frost Salts, if you can afford that.

Symptoms: Your entire race just mass hallucinated that you all went to the moon.

Cure:  Stop reading c0da.

Symptoms:  Being choked by every moth in sight.

Cure: Flail about a bunch.

Symptoms: Instructions unclear, used a medieval flail and now I have a sizeable dent in my cranium.

Cure: Shave your head, move to China, and Yoddle for 3 hours straight

Symptoms: Ichy foot, achy back, teeth falling out, my nose moved to duluth, hearing voices of people who are in my bathroom from the livingroom, and also burping.

Cure: Take a Tums to help with the burping. And the teeth falling out. And possibly the back pain. The rest is totally incurable and you are stuck with that for the rest of your existence.

Symptoms: Your entire body has been turned into a grey vaporous substance that leaves an oily residue on all it touches. In addition, you can't stop tweeting like a songbird.

Cure:   Drink a delicious soup made of dish soap, cabbage sprouts, ice, liquid aluminum, and guacamole, and wear a gag at all times (to block the tweeting).

Symptoms: Can't stop listening to the Jurassic Park theme, itchy eyebrows and toe hairs,  addicted to all things Dragons,  can't stand scrambled eggs made without mushrooms and bacon.