(I apologize if I did something wrong, since my low literacy English tongue, I could place an unnecessary topic. )

the first verse. dedicated Dragonstones (or alternative recording on stone). long suffered, but like to rhyme in three languages​​: Russian, English, dragon. 

• Qethsegol Wah Siiv Pah
  Qethsegol Wah Pah Lahvraan
  Qethsegol Dovahii Pah
  Wah Du Faal Lein, Ko Faal Oblaan
• this stone to find all 
  this stone to all gather 
  this stone dragons all 
  at the end of the world to devour
  (to devour the world, in the end.) this version string for rhyme dragon
• (этот) камень, чтобы найти всех,
  (этот) камень, чтобы всех собрать, 
  (этот) камень, драконов всех,
  чтобы, в конце, мир пожрать.

how well written? if wrong please point out the error.

Настоящий мужик должен иметь тело медведя, мудрость старца и дух воина.

This man shall have 
the body of a bear, 
the wisdom of ancient    
and the warrior spirit.

Daar Mun Fent Lost 
Faal Kopraan Do Aan Kodaav,
Faal Onikaan Do Kruziik
Ahrk Faal Kendov Zii

correctly written?

• Ahrk Zaan Fahliil Hokoronne
  Viikus
  Aal Kos Bronne Ensosin
  Nust Kren Naal Aan Ronaaz
  Ahrk Nust Lahney
  Nust Fen Ag Voth Yol
  Ahrk Nust Lahney
  Ahrk Nust Lahney Ahrk Krif
• And shouted elves - enemies defeat:
  Maybe, nords bewitch?
  They break by an arrow, and they live,
  They will burned with fire, and they live,
  And they live and fight!
• И кричали эльфы - враги потрясенные:
  Может, норды заколдованы?
  Их пронзишь стрелой, а они живут,
  Их сожжешь огнем, а они живут,
  А они живут и сражаются!

correctly written?

Here writes Orc Fury Regiment 
whose minds have found the truth 
essence of the dragon's breath 

correctly written?

Here's what I can tell without looking it up (I'm not very good at this, either): in the first passage, the plural for "dragon" is "dovahhe" (not dovahii), though I'm not sure what you were trying to say there. Did you mean "makes all dragons"? "For all dragons"? You used the "-ii" suffix a lot, but I've never heard of it. I could just be ignorant, though.

"Qethsegol Dovahii Pah" I wanted to say. stone belonging to all dragons - stone dragons (them) all, that is the suffix "ii". I think so.

You could say "Qethsegol do pah dovah", which would be "Stone of all dragons". "-ii" means "his/her/its". For example, to say "This is his stone" you could say "Daar qethsegolii".

then, the broken rhyme(