Did you hear about the warrior who was cut by a blade of grass?

Vey do veydo.

I heard that a Nord recently found what he calls a "universal truth." He sat down and meditated in a zen garden for an entire summer, an entire autumn, and an entire winter, and in the spring he finally found this "truth." He calls it the vah-zen.

Braith is bullying Lars in the streets of Whiterun. Braith punches Lars, and he gets upset.

"I'm telling!" cries Lars.

Braith pouts and says, "No fun!"

A farmer entered the local tavern.

"Krosis, excuse poor common zul. I seek warrior called Ken.", he said.

The bartender replied with a confused expression on his face: "Ken? He is no warrior. During his only battle that coward Ken hid in the bushes. No not just hid, Ken dove."

Strunnahmiin

Basically, just post any puns you've thought of that involve Dovahzul words. They can use English as well. Also, don't worry about the quality. In this thread, bad is good.

Here's one:

Did you hear about the princess? She was a cool lass.

(cool lass? like kulaas? get it? haha I'm hilarious)

Brynjolf just hit the damn floor.

DremSahrot

A farmer entered the local tavern.

"Krosis, excuse poor common zul. I seek warrior called Ken.", he said.

The bartender replied with a confused expression on his face: "Ken? He is no warrior. During his only battle that coward Ken hid in the bushes. No not just hid, Ken dove."

This one is so funny it has me dying! Very cle-viir.

Okay, I've got a bad one.

One day when coming back from his hunt the hunter found his house had slid down the cliff, upon seeing this he exclaimed "No! Motmahus!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he lost his balance and stumbled across.

One day, the [Dovahkiin] heard a knock on his door. The previous day, a Dragon Priest had contacted him, and told him: "See you tomorrow, '[paal].'" The [Dovahkiin] opened the door, and, sure enough, there was the Priest. He welcomed the Priest inside, saying: "Hey, thanks for coming, pal!"

About thirty seconds later, the [Dovahkiin] woke up in Sovngarde, very confused indeed.