I have some sentences I was hoping someone with more knowledge in Skyim’s dragon language could proofread. If there are any flaws or things I could improve, please let me know!

"My struggles are my own.”

“Dii kriffe los dii.”

“This room is proof I can overcome them.”

“Daar golt los vahzen zu’u fen viik niin.”

“But it's only the beginning.”

“Nuz nii los nunon fin kiin.”

“To bring order to my own chaos.”

“Wah drun uth us dii tahrovin.”

“To not hurt or be alone anymore.”

“Wah ni ahraan uv kos gein amativ.”

“To find happiness for real.”

“Wah siiv drem vahzah.”

“I will create a world for my mind."

“Zu’u fen zorox aan lein fah dii hahdrim.”

Flicker

“To bring order to my own chaos.”

“Wah drun uth us dii tahrovin.”

Uth means "order" as in "command." That could possibly work, in a metaphorical way. Seems like it fits the tone of the song.

“To not hurt or be alone anymore.”

“Wah ni ahraan uv kos gein amativ.”

Gein means "one," which I suppose would work in this context. I might use "ni voth naan" ("not with any") instead. Amativ ("forward/onward") might work better as nu, which means "now" instead. That's up to you, though. It can work fine as is, but it may be a tad confusing.

Definitely not bad! Good translation skills. You show admirable flexibility and understanding of the rules of the language. Pruzah pel!

Kogaan, fahdon! Also, I hope I'm using the Alphabet Converter properly.

Darn, I didn't know "Uth"  meant only order as in 'an order from someone.'  Hmm, has anyone suggested a word for order, as in 'law and order' or 'orderliness?'

Perhaps I should adapt to the language a bit. "To command my chaos."

"Wah uth dii tahroven." 

Okay, let's try 'not with any' and drop 'anymore' or 'now,' to be more general.

“Wah ni ahraan uv kos ni voth naan.”

Also! I think I found a better word for happiness instead of "Drem" (peace). "Brii" means satisfaction. That would work!

"Wah siiv brii vahzah."

Flicker

Darn, I didn't know "Uth"  meant only order as in 'an order from someone.'  Hmm, has anyone suggested a word for order, as in 'law and order' or 'orderliness?'

The Legacy word for "law" is noot, and I believe it to be a shining example of why Legacy was dropped. I remember looking up the word for "handwriting" and laughing at the fact that it's pelnoot. I love silly words, but they don't feel right in the mighty and divine language of the Dov.

Perhaps I should adapt to the language a bit. "To command my chaos."

"Wah uth dii tahroven." 

That's a good adaptation. It changes the connotation slightly, but I feel like it works well and conveys the same message.

Okay, let's try 'not with any' and drop 'anymore' or 'now,' to be more general.

“Wah ni ahraan uv kos ni voth naan.”

That's a good way to make it work! However, it is slightly ambiguous. Not with any what, exactly? I might add fahdon or mun afterward, depending on the message you're trying to convey. It works as is, but there may be a way to improve it further. That's up to you.

Also! I think I found a better word for happiness instead of "Drem" (peace). "Brii" means satisfaction. That would work!

"Wah siiv brii vahzah."

Brii also means "beautiful," and has connotations relating to beauty. Personally, I often use votiiraaz (un-sadness) for "happiness," although that conveys the lack of melancholy rather than the presence of joy. Brii works well, and should fit your meaning well enough.

I have to say, it's nice to see someone understand Dovahzul concepts so quickly after joining the site. You seem to be quite a fast learner, and I look forward to seeing what else you can write in this zulsebrii!

Haha, noot! Makes me wonder if the makers of Dovahzul were tempted to make words for silly things. If noot was a dragon word, I can only imagine it meaning something like 'joke' or 'fart,' gwaha :{D

I think I had a eureka moment when you used the word 'votiiraaz.' I had no idea there was a prefix that instantly meant 'opposite!' So if I wanted to, instead of having a word for the type of 'order' I am looking for, I could simply put 'vo' in front of chaos! Order is the opposite of chaos anyway, so let's see how it looks!

"Wah drun votahrovin us dii tahrovin."

Haha, well it's better than another alternative I had in mind. I was considering adding a non-canon word like 'Uthro,' claiming it to mean the kind of order I was looking for because of the two words combined to make it. Unless someone at Bethesda comments on it, it would forever be an unnoficial word. Tiiraaz nuz vahzah!

I do like 'mun' better, so thank you for making me aware of it!

"Wah ni ahraan uv kos ni voth naan mun."

I'm glad you're okay with the use of word brii there. Makes me wonder if happy words are so few in the dragon language for a reason. I mean sure the people at Bethesda could have made more, but maybe their idea of dragons had no use for a word like happiness. Not that their dragons are cynical but practical in a cruel and dangerous world.

Dii unt fah dii laan wah zorox aan brit wahlaan! I am creating something special and I need to make sure I have everything written properly! Thank you for your kind words and your help, Hahdremro.

Flicker

I think I had a eureka moment when you used the word 'votiiraaz.' I had no idea there was a prefix that instantly meant 'opposite!' So if I wanted to, instead of having a word for the type of 'order' I am looking for, I could simply put 'vo' in front of chaos! Order is the opposite of chaos anyway, so let's see how it looks!

"Wah drun votahrovin us dii tahrovin."

Haha, well it's better than another alternative I had in mind. I was considering adding a non-canon word like 'Uthro,' claiming it to mean the kind of order I was looking for because of the two words combined to make it. Unless someone at Bethesda comments on it, it would forever be an unnoficial word. Tiiraaz nuz vahzah!

Compound words are fine, but you may want to use se to make them more recognizeable. Uthsero (command-of-balance) would actually work really well if you're referring to diminishing chaos. At the very least, it's less repetitive than "votahrovin us dii tahrovin." (Also, side note, I just realized that wah would probably work better than us there.)

I'm glad you're okay with the use of word brii there. Makes me wonder if happy words are so few in the dragon language for a reason. I mean sure the people at Bethesda could have made more, but maybe their idea of dragons had no use for a word like happiness. Not that their dragons are cynical but practical in a cruel and dangerous world.

To be honest, they're immortals, so the world is only really dangerous for them if there are other dragons (or dragonborn) around! But I get your point. There aren't many words in Dovahzul with particularly positive connotations. It's a bit of a downer to think that I've already learned most of the happier words despite not having much of the lexicon memorized yet. Los ol los, ni zorox vowuth vahzah rotte. Can't really fix the issue now except by using Legacy words, and I personally prefer to use canon if possible.

Dii unt fah dii laan wah zorox aan brit wahlaan! I am creating something special and I need to make sure I have everything written properly! Thank you for your kind words and your help, Hadremro.

Los pruzah wah ofan aak, fahdoni! Anyone who creates something relating to the dragon tongue is a friend of mine! By the way, wahlaan generally refers to a structure. If you are creating a Wall for your friend, I would absolutely love to see it when it's finished! Actually, I'd like to see your creation regardless of what it is. It's fun to see how people can use this language in creative ways!

Liis
@Hahdremro, The Legacy word for "law" is "Thun". I don't really know where you got "Noot" from. "Noot" is skill. "Pelnoot" = "hand-skill".

Mal ruth. Lost folaassevahrukt. Nunon dahmaan rot "pelnoot." Forgot the actual translation of pelnoot. Kogaan fah vahzah rot!

Liis
@Hahdremro, The Legacy word for "law" is "Thun". I don't really know where you got "Noot" from. "Noot" is skill. "Pelnoot" = "hand-skill".

I suppose you meant "write-skill" and "hand" was just a slip of the brain.

Crap, how did that 'Us' get in there? Probably the same way I keep putting 'dii' instead of putting Zu'u! Blah, zu'u gotta work on that. You're right though, 'Wah' is better. Uthsero... I like it! owo

"Wah drun uthsero wah dii tahrovin." That may be the winner right there~

Oh I see, Legacy is non-canon stuff. I was wondering what that meant. Haha, that makes me think of all the silly sentences you could make if Dovahzul worked like some real langauges. Like there aren't some words for certain things in non-English langauges, so they'll suddenly use English mid-sentence their native language. 

So I'm just imagining a dragon who just discovered modern human culture, like "Zu'u lost osos goraan bronne dropping phat beats ahst fin ruth coffee shop. Zu'u ni mindoraan bronne." Gwaha~

Oh neat, the word for creation also means structure? I suppose I can tease it for you. I may or may not be involved in the creation of a Kel. And I can think of no better words to be written in it. Hopefully I don't saan dii koraav! :{D

Flicker

Crap, how did that 'Us' get in there? Probably the same way I keep putting 'dii' instead of putting Zu'u! Blah, zu'u gotta work on that. You're right though, 'Wah' is better. Uthsero... I like it! owo

"Wah drun uthsero wah dii tahrovin." That may be the winner right there~

That sounds great to me! It's been fascinating to watch this translation evolve step by step.

Oh I see, Legacy is non-canon stuff. I was wondering what that meant. Haha, that makes me think of all the silly sentences you could make if Dovahzul worked like some real langauges. Like there aren't some words for certain things in non-English langauges, so they'll suddenly use English mid-sentence their native language. 

So I'm just imagining a dragon who just discovered modern human culture, like "Zu'u lost osos goraan bronne dropping phat beats ahst fin ruth coffee shop. Zu'u ni mindoraan bronne." Gwaha~

I've been thinking lately about starting a journal and writing in all-runes Englishzul. :P It's easier than learning the entire Legacy lexicon, at least! (Ahrk geh, zu'u ney ni mindoraan muz.)

Oh neat, the word for creation also means structure? I suppose I can tease it for you. I may or may not be involved in the creation of a Kel. And I can think of no better words to be written in it. Hopefully I don't saan dii koraav! :{D

Wahlaan is pretty much always used to refer to structures, and according to the canon dictionary, it's not known if it can refer to other kinds of creations. I suppose it can serve that purpose, considering a lack of better words for it.

If you could take a picture of your work before you give it to your friend, I'd be happy to let you know what I think of it! It's always a good idea to get your work checked by a second set of eyes, after all, especially if you're writing runes and you're new to the alphabet. 

Your journal sounds like it would be good practice! Geez, I wonder if there are people who are so well-versed that they can look at runes in perfectly-canon Dovahzul and read it back to you in English like 'yeah, that's what it says.' Imagine having the most rediculous public conversation on social media, and no-one questions it because it's written with that alphabet xD

I'll be sure to do that! Forgive me if I made it sound like it was meant to be a gift; it's actually going to be put in my new office. I've been turning my old bedroom into an office so I can have a dedicated space to do my writing. Needless to say it's going to have some nerdy decor to double as a proper mancave. xD

Speaking of mancaves, why isn't there a Dovahzul word for Lair? I mean come on now, haha~

So! To review one more time. Here's what I've got:

Are there any problems left based on what I meant to translate from English? I did notice one thing about the Alphabet Converter... For words like Zu'u, it still uses a regular apostrophe like in English in the Rune form. ARE there apostrophes in dragon runes? :{o

Also, do dragons end sentences in periods like in English?

There are Legacy punctuation marks, but those aren't canon. I'd say stick with Frinmulaar's advice and use line breaks. The Alphabet Converter is limited, and it's best to forego any punctuation when working with this language, unless you're romanizing it.

Disclaimer: I can't see the pic you posted, thanks to a limited internet connection. I'll check it when I get home in a bit, unless I fall asleep as soon as I get there.